project 11

i haven't written much on here lately and that's mainly as there's been a fair amount going on, lots of decisions to make and lots of bits and pieces to plan which always makes me feel like i'm not making enough of my free time.
I do tend to bitch and moan about not having enough time to do the things i want to do and then when i have that time i can't motivate myself to do anything!
(yup! i'm one of those people) i find it difficult to focus, thoughts scattered all over. too much i wanna do. so much in fact that i get scared and don't know where to begin!

so. i've decided to become proactive.
i have decided to set myself monthly goals as having a deadline usual kicks me into shape, even if it is just for my own stuff.

one of my big loves (but the thing i get the most scattered thoughts about frankly) is making stuff.
i can knit, i can crochet and i can use my sewing machine but i am at basic level at best!
i tend to only really make things when it for a purpose rather then for enjoyment lately, such as birthdays, christmas craft fayres...and i need to sharpen myself up and learn some new skills before i get bored with my limited knowledge and hit a wall so.
today i've been picking through my craft magazines (mollie makes is one that i tend to buy when i see it) and chosen 11 projects to make.
1 a month. (i know what you're thinking "there's 12 months in a year" but cut me some slack, this month is almost over k? k!)

i'm aiming for:   3 knitting
                          3 crochet
                          3 hand sew/embroider
                          2 sewing machine (only 2 mainly as it can be a bit antisocial so i get put off doing it!)

hey!you never know i may squeeze in some more if i'm super speedy.

so. february. this is for you! owl gloves. i've made gloves before but only from my own pattern so following a pattern with a motif (yikes) is gonna be a whoooooole new experience for me! so, here goes nuttin.
i will post pictures as and when i start these bad boys. wish me luck!
(oh and to any friends or family reading-be warned, most of these little "projects" will probably become birthday/christmas presents for you, no matter how rubbish and mis-shapen so best hopes i get the hang of them aye?)

Project 1: Owl Gloves( i refuse to call them wrist warmers-they are fingerless gloves, end of)

more reasons to be thankful

wool
screen print posters
glue guns
jack kerouac
jack daniels
matt morgan
planes
youtube
the boss
SLR camera's
the fact my fake uggs boot have lasted for over a year
building up lieu time
ipswich film theatre
hot chocolate
hairdryers
modern family
converse
patti smith

we're already on the 21st of january! wowzers. we are well and truly into the new year. dag nammit!

so i've come home from work with what feels potentially like a head cold and, as anyone who knows me knows...this happens a lot, i mean like every couple of months or so (seriously) and it made me think that anyone who doesn't know me and may read these random nuggets of thought (fingers crossed) may wanna know more about the me and the bear.

First of all, who is the bear?

the bear would be my long suffering cohabiting boyfriend. he is big and hairy and therefore i refer to him as the bear. it's pretty much as simple as that really.

he's a carpenter, he wears plaid shirts and jackets and he has a big beard. 

he has a sort of lumberjack vibe going on which i guess is the opposite of a bear in a way but the image of a big bear living in my house amuses me and therefore its stuck.i don't really call him bear to his face as that makes me feel sort of icky as i'm not really into the whole pet name thing but i will address cards to "the bear" and buy him bear related gifts.

he looks like this:

Cute huh? he also sports some tattoo's, making him even cuter in my book.he is the kindest, sweetest most patient, infuriating know-it-all i have ever met and i wouldn't change him for anything. he's my best mate before anything else and i'm very lucky (most of the time) to have him on my side, fighting my corner in life. anyways, enough of that, i need to talk about the kid *ahem*sorry, the dog.

buddy.otherwise known as the budster, bud bud, sillypup, that mangy mutt or naughty hound.

the newest member of the house, we took her under our collective wings and we've had her now for  a little over a month and the truth is...we can't really remember what life was like without her.it's weird how that happens. for one thing she is incredible comedy value. 

it's been snowing this last week and watching her charge around like some kind of manic toddler is hilarious. she also has little to know spacial awareness and living with her means keeping one eye on her oversized bonce, worrying that it will collide with a table edge, again, much like you would with a manic toddler. she is cute, cuddly, and very much the bears dog.

there are many many pictures of her (us being proud parents an' all) and at some point i'm sure i will post them but for now, this is the one and only, the Budster:

again, cute huh? please excuse all the crap i the background of the photo. i would say that that is unusual for us to be so free with our mess but i would be lying. it's a sickness that we are trying to cure.

so lastly, leaves me. i'm a 31 year old drifter in life really. i try a lot of things and wait for them to stick. the main things that have stuck in my life so far have been music, films, reading and crafting. by crafting i mean crochet, knitting and sewing. something of which i will bore you with over time i'm sure. i'm not a good self promoter so for now, i will just post a picture and be done with it.

so that's us. no great mysteries here! 

when i'm feeling less crappy i will try and come up with some more inspiring posts but for now, im tucked up in bed so this is all i got people! na night.

hello there!
as it's friday i will keep it brief.
this song (see below) has been rattling around in my tiny mind like an earworm for days and days.
it's a doozie!
enjoy!!

Sea Wolf-You're a Wolf

p.s. when i work out how to put the software on here i will make mix tapes (i've been agonising over trying to do this for about a week and my brain hurts but it WILL happen)

god!!!do i have to??

when i was at primary school, i must've been about 6, i remember vividly standing in the dinner queue trying to guess how old the dinner lady who served us was.
i looked her up and down with her hairy top lip and even hairier legs making themselves known under thick flesh coloured tights and reasoned in my little brain that she must be at least 15!!
my friend told me i was crazy and she must be at least 21 cos she looked sooooo ooooold.
this amazed me: "21???wow!! when you get to 21 you're so old, you might as well kill yourself!!!!'
that is actually, truthfully, what i said. what can i say? i was a morbid kid.

now i'm 31. thats one year over 30 and 2 years out of my 20's.
even typing that feels incredibly strange. i'll be honest. i still feel 14 and think and act accordingly.
in my head, it's everyone elses fault not mine. i don't feel that i should have to make the effort with anything and everything should just occur and just fall at my feet.
i actually say things to the bear like "god!!!do i haaaave toooooo? but i...don't...wanna!!"
i resent doing the washing up, clothes washing, cleaning the bathroom....if i can get away with not hoovering for 6 months i will and my absolute pet hate is hanging clothes up. if i didn't live with the bear than i would just have clothes dumped on the floor in piles.
i consider this to be a product of my own raging laziness and my mothers patience.
when i was a student living away from home in nottingham i suddenly developed a very deep respect for my little ma. i couldn't cook, i could't use the washing machine and it suddenly hit me that she had been doing all these things for me and my brothers our whole lives, all by herself.
i mean, where did she get the energy? i couldn't even get out of bed, dressed and to lectures on time
(i actually slept through one of my psychology exams in the first year-and i wonder why i was kicked out of uni-what a douche)

i guess my thinking for the day is, when does it all kick in? this growing up stuff? is it when you stop going out at the weekends? is it when you have kids? do you have to stop pulling faces and doing impressions or get some kind of responsible job to be an 'adult'?
what does that even mean anyway?
there does seem to be a weird gap in my generation. my parents got married when they were in their early 20's and then had me and my big brother jimmy when they where mid 20s.
who does that anymore? not many of us it seems these days.
i was engaged in my mid 20's but i just, couldn't quite bring myself to do it...just yet. and i made the decision to call it off. it was hard but i knew it was the right thing.
maybe that's what being an adult is about. knowing when you've made the right choices and maybe knowing when to let go of the bad ones you've made and move on.

ahhhhh who knows. it's all a load of bollocks really innit?
for now, i'm just happy making the bear laugh by dancing around in my pants, talking in stupid voices to buddy and trying to get away with as much as possible while doing as little as possible.
i guess i may get older but i'll probably never grow up and for now, that's fine by me.

anyways, here's the boss, sticking it to the man as usual.

new year sucks

screw you new years eve.
PAH! you suck dude. every year, the mild panic of "what shall we do?"
"who's about?" "It's gunna cost how much??? but it's normally free to get in there..." and so it goes.

that lovely feeling of forced fun, just smothering you like a damp towel, making you feel mildly depressed and like you'd rather just stay in bed and watch movies on netflix whilst sipping on jack daniels and coke (well it IS new years eve after all, treat yourself, don't mind if I do).

sometimes i think that having a kid would be the answer to this little problem. if you've got a kid you've got the perfect reason to stay put and nobody judges you for it:
 "well you know i'd just luuurve to come out to the hardcore trance night you're putting on but you know, i have a kid and it's tough to get a babysitter, what with it being new years an' all so, i guess i will have to take a raincheck...soooorrrryyy, maybe next time though yeah?"
as brilliant as an advantage kids are for this kind of sneaky move, i am of course not suggesting that that should be the only reason one would have for having a child. it's just a very good one.

anyways, i'm gonna throw a curve ball and say that this new year was actually a pretty good one.
me, the bear and buddy took our friend ben (the 3 b's)  up to norwich to a house party being held by his girlfriend who also doubles as my best mate, Rachel (otherwise referred to as the Catto) in good old Norwich.
she fed us lasagne, we sat about drinking, chatting and generally being stupid as gradually her house filled up with peoples as midnight approached.
as ridiculous as it sounds, one of the most entertaining parts of the night was when we joined a bunch of drinking straw spectacles together making one MASSIVE straw and took turns drinking drinks. just goes to show that high brow conversation has no place at a new years house party and i'm gonna prove it by showing some of the brilliantly low brow shanningans that took place below.
we had fun.
it got messy.
it was new years eve 2012.

 1.        it started with this little lot
2.        obligatory bendy straw shot
3.        and so it begins
4.        toms bedroom eyes
5.        it's on....
6.        spec gate reaches the masses
7.        literal beer goggles
8/9.     origami foil fun
10.      the catto and benjamina
11.      purdy
12.      someone needs help with the old lang syne lyrics
13.      celebrate
14.      the most wicked of all wicked record players
15.      buddy gets the catto treatment
16/17. and if drinking specs weren't enough, out come the bubbles...
18.      aaron heroically attempts a double ender!
19.      a hayley is spooning my dog..
20.      oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....

was having a look through itunes the other night. it had just updated itself which shook me up a bit as it looks completely different which threw me into a state of total confusion (i'm not good with new technology, i'll be honest) but in doing so came across this little gem that i forgot i had so, because i'm a generous sort of a girl, i though i would share it. enjoy.

have you ever seen the woody allen  movie manhatten? do it. i'm slowly but surely working my way through the woody allen back catalogue. yes i am slow on the uptake but forgive me!
i'm falling in love with that funny little neurotic man hard.
this ending of manhatten has this great little scene where woody's character relays a list of reasons why life is worth living. it  made me think that on these long dark cold days, when you get up in the dark, work all day, go home in the dark and it seems like there is no end in sight (at least until march anyways when the clocks go back!) its worth having your own list just to get you through.
here's my list:

lay ins
it's a wonderful life
fried egg sandwiches where the yolk is still runny
a favourite pair of jeans
all my friends are super hero's by andrew kaufman
bill hicks
the wire
woody allen movies!
tea
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
daniel johnston
the sopranos
rachel catto
sewing machines
when buddy looks at me and gives me her paw for a fuss
my driving licence
bleubirdvintage.typepad.com
my red bike
arcade fire
the sound of liquid pouring into a glass (a weird one but it's true)
the sea
sylvia plath
ryan adams
ryan gosling
sons of anarchy
my ma
oliver jeffers
tattoo's
jimmy stewart
spooning in bed
maya angelou
thick strawberry milkshake
blue valentine

i think that's enough for now! friends and family go without saying although the catto and my ma get an honorary mention.
 i may try and do a list a week until the clocks go forward on march 31st just to keep cheery!

anyways...here's woody's list. enjoy!

here we are

so then, here we are.

after telling a few friends "yeah, i'm gonna write a blog" and feeling like a bit of a tit it's now put me in the agonising position of having to write THAT first post. euurgh.... all other blogs i read make it look so easy! 

i've been sat here for the last few days, paralysed with fear as to what to write cos once it's out there folks, it's pretty hard to take back. figured it was best to just dive in and start blabbering. stick with it kids, i will learn to curtail my jibbering over time for sure.

my decision to start a blog was basically out of rebellion against facebook. the long and short of it is, facebook and i had a turbulent relationship. we had good times, we had bad times. but sadly it didn't work out. it was turning me into one of those people i started off saying i would never become when joining that pesky network about 4 years ago.

yes i aired dirty laundry, yes i facebook stalked people, yes i revelled in how many "friends" i had and yes......i killed far too much of my time on there when i could have been doing better, funner...well ANYTHING, literally ANYTHING else. the time i knew i had to break it off was when i got embroiled in someones relationship woes and starting receiving private message abuse from a former "friend."

facebook...its not you, it's me. we've changed and grown apart. you deserve better and frankly, so do i.

adios dear friend. maybe one day we can give it another go but for now, time apart will do us both good. see ya later, bye, bye, no YOU put it down, no YOU, no YOU put it down......now i've exhausted that analogy, you get the picture, right?

anyway, deep breaths luce, deep..calming...breaths.......

there's no avoiding it, christmas and new year came and went with the usual annual fanfare. the slow and continuous building up of a 3 month hysteria fuelled by sinister tv ads and work colleagues announcing "yeah, i've got all of my presents"(like, whatever dude), was over in the space of a week and we were dumped wide eyed, blinking and shell shocked into 2013 with a feeling that we got conned somehow.

i'm sorry kids, i don't mean to sound so cynical. i enjoy christmas on a level. i guess when i have my own kids i will enjoy it even more but as a 31 year old, childless girl, christmas is a weird thing to endure. it's never been my favourite holiday  (that little honour is reserved for halloween, the king of occasions if you will) but you know, this year, i have to say old sandy claws was good to us and we had fun. anyways, here are some photos to prove it.

.

1. the tree.in all its glitzy glory
2. my little momma
3. the bear, amazing my sister-in-law with his cracker magic trick
4. the standard family pic
5. the not so standard family pic
6. improvising around a forgotten tripod stand
7. my amazing pappy
8. beautiful old photo
9. hah! look at this fella!
10. me and my momma
11. the lot
12. christmas outtake
13. the newly weds
10. the bear hug

sorry about the photo onslaught! i have actually cut these down from my original selection!